The World Cup brought 32 countries to the South, and somebody had to explain what they were walking into. So I did. This is a field guide for every visitor in Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, and Miami (ok, maybe not Miami) who’s about to discover brisket, Blue Bell, kudzu, tornado season, Buc-ee’s, jumping armadillos, and the sacred laws of the Waffle House between midnight and 4AM.

We cover the official Southern measurement system (a pinch, a good bit, a whole mess, and more than you can shake a stick at), why the Dutch are outnumbered by their own bicycles, how MARTA serves exactly 4 of Atlanta’s 29 counties, and the surprising amount we’ve got in common with Morocco, Uzbekistan, South Africa, and the DR Congo.

Everything down here is bigger, hotter, weirder, and louder. Turns out we ain’t that different after all. Now let’s play some soccer.

Welcome to the South, world. Bless your hearts.

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