What Meatocalypse, Us Alabamians Are Addicted To Meat

By Nathan Young on October 29, 2015

WHAT!!!!! Enjoying my bacon and burgers means I have an increased risk of getting cancer? Who came up with this study this time? I mean, I live in Alabama. And down here in the Yellowhammer State, just about everyone loves their meat! From barbeque, cheeseburgers, bacon, sausage, fried chicken, hot dogs, and other yummy meats, you will have a very hard time finding a vegan in Alabama!

So, what about this study. The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) published findings in the journal Lancet Oncology linking the consumption of red meat that is a deep red color before cooking, such as beef, and processed meat that is sold preserved, like salami and hotdogs; meats to certain kinds of cancer, notably bowel cancer. This study only looked at red meat, and not other meats like fish or chicken.

So why the increase in cancer? According to a study, the breakdown products of heme, part of the substance that makes blood red, hemoglobin, may be to blame. When the heme in red meat is digested, it produces carcinogenic chemicals called “N-nitroso” compounds. The same compounds can form when the nitrogen-based preservatives in processed meats make their way into the gut.

Scientists looked at over 800 worldwide studies and the results, those who eat the highest amounts of red meat have an increased risk of cancers such as colon cancer. At the same time, the World Health Organization put those eating high amount of red meats in the same category as those who smoke and breathe asbestos. Seriously, so eating lots of red meat means I am also like a heavy smoker or someone who is rolling in some asbestos?

Now that we know processed meat causes cancer, my hope is that french fries are the cure for it.

— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) October 29, 2015

So, while I am writing this, and enjoying a bacon cheeseburger at the same time, let’s talk about why many are going to just brush aside this study. People in the south and in Alabama are addicted to meat! In just about every meal, you will find some type of meat on the plate. I mean, who goes to a fast-food joint to order a plain biscuit for breakfast, or two burger buns during dinner? Nope, there will be meat also involved!

Also in the south, every BBQ joint is packed with people during lunch and dinner! Everyone has their favorite BBQ joint, everyone! You don’t go to a BBQ joint to eat the sides, you go there to eat some meat! Third, every gathering and cookout will have some meat! Who goes to gather with family and friends to enjoy some vegan food? Nope, you have some meat! You get what I am saying here! People here in Alabama will eat some meat!

So World Health Organization, your “scare tactics” to scare people to quit or lower their meat consumption will not work with hardly anyone down here in the south. We are addicted to meat! Now, pass me the burger, put that wiener on the bun, and give me some bacon! Bacon is one of the best foods on Earth!